One day, you have children of your own, and the momentum of your pendulum of socks wanting starts theirs as they open their first gift of underwear and mistakenly think, “Underwear, what a crappy gift.”

This instance, along with a conversation with my friend Syd helped me realize the special ability of a narrative to appropriately recount the quick “zinger”.  Any delay in a zinger damages its funniness.  A premeditated zinger would come off strange and maybe creepy.  An adapted zinger as a stand alone joke would be just wrong.  In terms of a narrative, supposing belief has been adequately suspended, the setup and punch-line can be delivered perfectly.

Cheers Bar  (chîrz • bär) – That bar you go to, where everyone knows your name.

If you haven’t yet realized, this comic is made to be seen in 3D. It works just like those magic eye posters you always had to stop for in the mall. A description of how it works can be found here. If you have trouble making it “pop” and you have the old-school 3D glasses, the comic is in red and blue below. The other way to see it is as an animated gif, showing motion, but this link is not for those with epilepsy (this is called wiggle stereoscopy).

I’ve also embedded a cultural reference to Magic Eye posters from the movie Mallrats. In the movie the posters become a reoccurring theme, eventually gaining sentience and killing people. The last half of the previous sentence is a lie.

There are some benefits to the black eye, though. You will never have faster service anywhere, ever. If someone you don’t know is annoying you at a bar or concert, you can deal with them with just one look. You can make children cry.

The most important lesson that I’ve learned from this experience is this: Don’t ever tell people the real reason for your black eye. Make up a good story, something on the bitter edge of believable (in my case I told people I am a lumberjack and I had an ax-ident). A fabrication will be way cooler than the crappy way you got your black eye.

After this experience, I realized that I was part of an odd cycle of people talking about orgasms in public. In a busy lunchroom this chain of conversation could potentially go on for a long time.

When I moved out of my parents’ house, I left all my Legos with them. I spent one month of that summer assembling others’ Ikea furniture for fun… this is also why I dread dealing with the cable company so much.

Piss-shivers are one of the numerous untapped jewels of the men’s bathroom that women seldom know about. If one were to think of restroom humor as a mine, there is a rich vein of men’s bathroom etiquette that is seemingly inexhaustible. The danger of harvesting from this mine, as with any mine, is if dug too deep or if harsh tactics are used to exhume jewels of potty humor the walls collapse! That said, I won’t even touch strip-mining.

In other news, I’ve been a huge slacker with regards to the comic this summer. However, school will be starting up soon, and you know what that means! Tons of procrastination time, as I daydream and doodle away my education.

Multitasking while sitting on the porcelain throne can be quite handy. Though some take this too far (making phone calls), that is some valuable time that can be reclaimed. The Blue Scholars said it best in the song Southside Revival:

If you’ve got time to take a shit, you’ve got time to read a book.

This is slightly unrelated, but an RSS feed for the site is in the works. I’ve been playing with creating an RSS feed on the planes, as there hasn’t been enough room to work with my tablet.