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Cat Attack!

2012-03-08
Tags: cats (5)

I've used cats as weapons before. Not yet actually with a laser, it was with one of those little kitty-fishing rods; the stick with fuzzy things on the end of a string. A couple shakes got a stinky little kitten to climb right up someone's back and over her shoulder. Kitten warfare has progressed a lot since then. The advent of the laser pointer has caused a revolution in both the acts of kitty-warfare as well as kitty-fishing.

Most cats, when used with a laser, could destroy anything. Some say that you can make a perpetual motion machine by putting a piece of buttered toast on a cat's back. The paradox of the cat having to land on its feet and the buttered toast having to land face-down causes it to spin forever. I posit that if you attached a laser pointer to a cat's head, you'd get a perpetual destruction machine.

While laser pointers are edging out the common kitty-fishing rod, they will never replace it. True kitty-fishermen and kitty-fisher-catladies still appreciate the tug of the claws on at the end of the line, the fight of the cat, the thrill of the catch, but also the zen of jigging.