Return of the Shaver
Before you get all worried, I didn't shave my whole beard off. I only shaved just enough to look too classy for the middle aged dudes at Whole Foods to continue asking me about how best to move to Alaska (this happened!). Now I'm wearing something closer to the beard of a conquistador or possibly the guy who killed Inigo Montoya's father. Basically, "you killed my father now prepare to die" is the new "dude you look like Zach Galafianakis."
It's been fun to see the kind difference the well kempt beard has made as its effects sweep through my life. Parents no longer herd their children away on the street, blind dates no longer pretend they don't recognize my profile picture's eyes from six months ago under three more inches of hair, and a woman has even commented on my visible dimples (though she was a lesbian). Not all is great with the new face-do, however; people have stopped dropping money into any random open container around me.
And now a clip from Star Wars: Return of the Jedi...