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Stripes:Zebra as Plaid:Hipster

Tags: hipsters (1)

The hipster is a dying species! Due to their tight pants, hipsters nearly constantly battle the risk of dying out. Tight pants restrict blood-flow to necessary organs for reproduction. Furthermore the tight pants do not permit the body to maintain the ideal temperature for bearing children (guys, you know), leaving the hipster male sterile until his skin-tight jeans are removed for over a month.

The female hipster is at similar risk. Once having been wooed into bed, coitus is often cut short by her mate's inability to remove her similarly tight pants.